Monday, 30 April 2012

Game of Thrones half time punditry


If you’re from the Former Western Colonies or elsewhere (hello Russians!) I may need to explain the reference to half time punditry.  On British TV it is traditional for some experts to discuss what they have just witnessed during half time at sporting occasions.  The experts will generally tell you things you’ve just seen yourself and whether the people involved will be happy or unhappy about the things and whether they need to change things – yes if it’s a bad thing, no if it’s a good thing.  The experts are well remunerated for this waste of your time.  You will have seen it whilst watching your unnecessarily modified versions of football, rugby or cricket, although it might not be called punditry from where you are from because you insist on changing the English language.

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Murdoch two fingered outrage



Rupert Murdoch reacted with an angry TWO FINGERED GESTURE at the Leveson Inquiry into media ethics today as it was suggested that his newspapers publish photographs out of context to generate a completely made up story.

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Local biscuit news


When I write on here I do sometimes wonder why people would read the narcissistic ramblings of an idiot.  People who know me will be aware that it is my beautiful good looks rather than my writing skills that are the talent that provides their joy in their otherwise vapid lives.  But then I see something that suggests to me that people will read anything and sometimes even pay for the privilege.

Friday, 20 April 2012

6 Pack: Swearing


This as they say before all my favourite TV programmes, has ‘strong language and adult themes’ in it, so don’t read it at work.  In fact do your work you feckless wanting money for nothing git*.

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

An apology


In February I suggested that the English Defence League was a front group for men that suffered from inverted penises.  I was cleverly trying to subvert the macho bone headed twunts by what they would consider in their neanderthal like way as me questioning their manhood. 

Saturday, 14 April 2012

Science trilogy, part III


I promised three parts to the science posts this week.  What was I thinking of?  I feel like the producers of The Matrix who decided to do two further ones but hadn’t planned what they were going to do.  Then every conversation about The Matrix thereafter would go, “yeah, the first one was good but the other two were rubbish.”  Not that I’m saying that the revelation about ginger people being unable to be evil was good, but at least it’s bringing a bit of positivity into the world.

Thursday, 12 April 2012

Science trilogy, part II


Buoyed by the sensational revelation this week that I have discovered that ginger people cannot be evil (read my full thesis here) my massive scientific brain has been considering other issues of significant consequence.  So much so that this will become the second part of my ‘science trilogy’.

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Slipped Hitler and ginger Nazis



I didn’t invent the Slipped Hitler and I can’t really recall who did.  But this week I had a plan, which was having not shaved for some time I was going to remove the stubbly growth whilst leaving a small portion in place as a Slipped Hitler (see Fig. 1). 

Friday, 6 April 2012

Fearne Cotton, your new leader


What?  Yes, that’s right brothers and sisters (and transgender people) I have identified the new leader of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Olympics under threat as Tesco store built on running track


Panic broke out within organisers for the London Olympics as it emerged that a Tesco Express has sprung up overnight 20 metres from the finishing line at the Olympic Stadium running track.

Monday, 2 April 2012

IJS Radio: Top 10 March 2012


The most popular thing on IJS returns today – a list of artists and song titles.  Voted for by people listening to IJS Radio.

Sunday, 1 April 2012