Monday, 13 February 2012

Abu Qatada to be released to Top Gear


It is being reported that extremist preacher Abu Qatada is to be controversially released from prison today.  Sources reveal that with it being impossible to deport the big bearded fruitcake to Jordan, he is to be bailed under strict conditions to a secure environment.

It is speculated that the secure environment utilised will be the popular BBC television programme Top Gear.  The BBC refuses to comment officially, but an insider has suggested that negotiations have taken place with the government to provide Qatada with an environment where he can spout his bigoted, stereotypical views on the world to a likeminded audience that embraces bigoted, stereotypical views. 

“By preaching to the converted, the authorities believe that they can limit the damage of his miserable hate speech.  He is also a deeply unfashionable middle aged man, so we believe he will fit in with the existing staff,” said the pinko-commie BBC source.  “We believe there will be terrific banter with the other presenters, especially when they talk about dealing with people they don’t like.”

Staff were earlier seen entering Long Lartin top security jail carrying a selection of stone washed jeans and bundles of soft rock CDs.  More news as we get it.